Louder Than Words

I just finished Jenny McCarthy's book Louder Than Words, which is the story of how she helped pull her son from the intense clutches of autism. Although I have never cared much for her public persona, I was interested to read this because of some of the similarities that exist between autism and Sensory Processing Disorder (which my son has). I tend to be a fast reader, so I almost always prefer to get a "hard copy" and read the book at my own pace. However, we mistakenly reserved the Book-on-CD version from the library, so I ended up listening to this story instead.

Overall, I thought that it was a worthwhile book, but I actually do wish that I'd read it instead of listened to it. I shouldn't have been surprised, but she put a fair number of expletives in her writing (particularly the f-bomb), and it made me a tad uncomfortable to hear the narrator throwing those words out there so often! There are also some stretches where she seems to repeat herself a lot, and I would have just skimmed over those parts, had I had the book in my hands. She has a somewhat childlike way of writing (lots of simple sentences), which was magnified by being read out loud, so--again--it probably would come off better on paper than on audio.

Aside from these criticisms, it was definitely heartbreaking, and mildly inspirational, to hear what their family went through, as well as oddly comforting to note the similarities in places to some of the issues we've faced with our own son. It raises some VERY interesting points regarding diet and overall health, which I think--for many reasons--needs to be examined much more thoroughly by the general public (but I'll save my soapbox speech on that for another post!). I think that the impact of her story would have been much stronger if she had reigned in her compulsion to pat herself excessively on the back. I did really appreciate all of the resources that were listed at the end of the book, and I intend to check out the hard copy of the book from the library at some point, in order to look into those websites, etc.

Have YOU read it? What did you think? Leave a comment and tell us! Here's what I thought:

Story: B

Writing Style: C

Ease of Read: A-

Appropriate for Children?: NO

Overall Grade: B-

When It's Time to Change. . .

I love those lyrics in the song that they sang on the. . .ahem. . . Brady Bunch: "When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange...", with Peter squawking each "change" with his new adolescent voice. Funny moment in the show, but truly an apropos theme song for parents of young children!

Through a symbiotic combination of my 2 1/2 year old son's Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and his, well, age of 2 1/2 years old, he doesn't do well with transitions these days. Actually it was several months ago that he started to fall apart when we would announce that it was time to _____ (fill in the blank with any number of things) instead of continuing to _______ (fill in the blank with any number of things). It didn't really matter if what we were suggesting was way more fun than what he was currently doing; just the mere idea of change was too daunting for him. (Hmmm, sounds a bit like some adults I know. . .myself included, sometimes.)

To be fair, his SPD does make things complicated in this regard. For instance, we know that he LOVES his "school" (his speech/sensory group that meets once a week at a nearby Grand Rapids school). However, he can't immediately reconcile what he loves about it with the idea of leaving home to go there. Too many things are difficult about the journey, such as having to be buckled in a tight car seat, possible disconcerting noises along the way, blinding sunlight streaming through the windshield. And even more once we get there: other children who make sudden movements and loud sounds, lots of adults who may talk too fast, activities that challenge him out of his comfort zone, and class that is far too short and far too long for him all at the same time. It takes a lot of effort for him to keep his body under control while he's out in the public eye, and that can outweigh all of the positives that he has tucked away in his heart and mind.

It's hard to know what goes through his mind when we tell him that it's time to go to school. Or eat dinner. Or leave the park. Or go upstairs for a bath. Or stop playing "horsey" after the 25th repetition because Mom's spine is going to get stuck in an unnatural diagonal. All we do know is the reaction we used to get: a total meltdown, far more often than not. Even the best-intended verbal preparations ("Ronan, after we eat breakfast we are going to put our shoes on and go to school") wouldn't prevent the shrieking, head-banging, limb-flailing episodes we became so familiar with.

UNTIL. . .my husband had a brilliant idea. Use the timer. Yep. That little white box. Let me tell you, that thing has made our job soooooo much easier over the past few months. Our timer gives a little "beep beep, beep beep" at the 5-minute warning, which has worked out most beautifully. We set the timer for 6 or 7 minutes and say, "Ronan, when the timer goes off, we are going to ____". Then when it gives its 5-minute warning, we say to Ronan pointedly, "five minutes" and we make him repeat it back to us so we know that he heard it. (Most of the time now he beats us to it.) Then when the time is up and the timer goes off, he dutifully gives up his current activity and moves on to the next. No kidding, this works ALL THE TIME with him. It's as if the role of bad guy has been taken from us and handed to the little white box. . .and he knows he can't argue with a gadget.

Let's see. . .we use the timer when we want to turn off a video, when it's time to go outside to play, when it's time to get in the car, when it's time to leave the park, when it's time to go upstairs for a bath, when it's time to get OUT of the bath, and probably a dozen other times in a given week.

What an amazing, simple discovery. What a smart man I married. And what glorious harmony in our household when we can make transitions more bearable for our sweet little boy!

Kicking Off Summer!

Ahhhh, summer is here! It's a great feeling, diving into the season! I am spending much more time with my almost-3-year-old son (Ronan), I've made great progress in landscaping our yard, and I'm finally taking care of some of those pesky projects that I've been meaning to get to for awhile. And I'm looking forward to the upcoming events I have planned with our extended family in the next couple of months. So life is pretty good, right? Of course! But there is something missing. . .

Since I'm in the process of moving our studio to its new location this summer, I'm not teaching any Kindermusik classes right now. AND I REALLY MISS IT!! At any given time I find myself thinking about my students, wondering what kinds of things they are up to this summer.

Perhaps some of them are spending time at a nature center, like Ronan and I did this morning. We live just minutes from Blandford Nature Center, so I decided to take him over there for our morning activity. It's so fun to listen to the many wildlife sounds, run around the meadow, look for animals, and hike the trails.

Well, we got more than we (at least I) bargained for today! The two of us leaned over a huge log to watch a caterpillar up close, and as I stood up, I realized that there was a long, black snake circling Ronan's legs. Being that I (even as a consummate animal lover) do not care for the company of snakes AND, coincidently, I had just seen a news story earlier this morning about a black snake that cozied up around the legs of a 7-month-old in her crib, I did what any normal person would do: shrieked loudly and hoisted all 40.2 pounds of my son into the air!

As the snake slithered away, I became acutely aware of what that experience may have been like for my son. In the two-tenths of a second that it took me to realize that the snake was there, Ronan was simply looking curiously at what was tickling his feet [inadvertent shudder!]. I fervently want him to grow up with a great respect for animals (and all of nature, really), so perhaps my reaction was not the best way to accomplish this! I quickly covered by telling him that it just "surprised" Mommy. Apparently it was OK because he then proceeded to mimic my shriek and then say, "Mama surprise!" all the way home. (Great. . .my terror is his hilarity!)

So what does this have to do with music? Well, it occurs to me that one of the things that makes Kindermusik so great is its constant opportunity to let kids experience music without bias or prior mental programming. When we get out the sticks, for example, we aren't looking for the children to play them in a prescribed manner; they get to explore with them and create new ways to use them. Perhaps they come from a home with parents who listen only to jazz music or classical. In Kindermusik, children experience both of those but also so much more, regardless of the preferences that their parents came in the door with.

Ronan may decide at some point that he, also, shrieks at the sight of a snake and would rather have every one of them far, far away from his path. But I hope to let him discover that based on his own feelings--not mine--just as I look forward to finding out what instrument he wants to play in the school band or what his favorite songs are as he grows up.

I can't wait to see everyone in September and discover new things together! :-)